Run Fat Boy, Run

Nope, I didn't see the movie yet...more like I was the movie. You see, it's been a week, but last Saturday, I ran in my very first 5K. It was the Falls Church High School, Jaguar 5k. "Why would I do this?" you may ask. Good question, but most likely, it was because I am a little crazy. Well, It turns out that about 1 1/2 months ago, maybe two, my friend, Amanda (you may know her as "co-pilot" from my Nashville adventure post) and I were i.m-ing and she asked if I was still going to the gym/running and whatnot, and at the time, I was going fairly regularly. She suggested that I sign on to the thing, and I thought it would be good motivation. It wasn't. I forgot about it, and I went for three weeks without doing a thing--I was busyish.
Anyway, the Sunday before the thing, some of the people who were doing it reminded me of the race, and said that they had done no training and that I should still do it. So, stupidly enough, I said I would, again. I ran twice during the week, and felt okay about doing it.
So the big day came, and I went, I ran, and I came in under 30 minutes, which my time, I realize isn't fantastic, but I did it, and that is enough, especially considering I hadn't trained for anything. I may have to do another one sometime and try to do better. There would be a picture of those of us from my ward who participated, but someone (I won't name names, but click here to find out who) hasn't sent me the photo.

Today's List of Things That Must Go

I realized that it has been a while since I had last made my weekly gripe list. I would attribute this to my cheerful demeanor on Monday mornings of late, making it difficult to find things to complain about. All that has changed today. I am bitter...okay, maybe not so much bitter, but rather just thinking about things that bugged me recently and realizing that I need to jot them down before I forget. So here they are for this week:
1). The word guesstimate--dumb word. I know I have a tendency to use it on occasion, but I shouldn't. I guess it means that you're estimating completely based on guesswork. I think that means that you're guessing. You don't need to "guesstimate," just guess. Though, apparently, it's a real word, I think people just use it to sound more intelligent because they know what they're about to say is based entirely on crap.
2). The tendency to say "it must be..."--When someone has a slight idea of why something is doing one thing or another, and others don't, they tend to pull out the "it must be because of (insert made-up, bologna reason here)." For instance, on my trip back to DC from SLC, I had a Diet Pepsi that, after being opened for a few seconds started spewing forth its contents in a bubbly fashion. Quickly, I got the attention of the flight attendant, "Chip" (we'll call him cause I don't remember his name, and frankly I don't care). He gave me a big paper towel and was saying to me and my surrounding passengers, "it must be because of the cabin pressure, they've been doing that all morning." You don't know this, Chip!! You are no physicist. It may very well be that there is a difference in the cabin pressure that is causing the diet sodas to behave in an unruly fashion, but you don't know, so you shouldn't diagnose it as such. If I have questions about how to propperly pass out pretzels or how to say "buh-bye," I'll ask a flight attendant, but if Chip, or anyone, is going to say that something "must be" doing anything, please be able to back it up.
3). Not having an umbrella on a rainy morning--Not fun. I haven't had an umbrella for over a year now. I haven't needed it more than about three times, but today was one of those days. True, it's my own fault, but it's not fun nonetheless.
4). Superdelagates who won't make up their minds--Please, just decide and shut that awful Clinton woman up!! She's distracting from the real target, weakening the Democrats' chances of winning the Whitehouse in November (heaven help us if we have another republican in there for a while). John McCain is floating on by, getting a free ride while Barack Obama can't focus on him, because he's fighting off attacks by a woman who simply feels she deserves to be president. She doesn't and here's why: her "experience" doesn't amount to a hill of beans because to this point, she's only overseen two national projects, and both have been miserable failures. Hillarycare in the 90s tanked horribly, and was at least part of the reason why the Democrats lost the House in 94. And Hillary for President, is a failure because, well if she's that damned good, shouldn't she have wrapped up the nomination yet? Shouldn't she be ahead in something? They didn't have the foresight to look at the challenge that Obama would be, and were left without a plan after Super Tuesday. If she wasn't ready for Barack, how could she be ready to take on Iraq. That being said, the superdelegates who haven't decided, need to make up their minds now, so we can end this thing.
5). Tourists at rush hour--Can't you just wait for one more hour before embarking on your adventures in the nation's capital? Seriously, why can't these people get the concept of standing on the right, walking on the left? And what's worse is the school groups that show up--hoards of loud, pimply-faced teen-agers. They make me want to hit the teacher who is trying to hold the group together shouting "Okay everybody, let them get off the train first!!" Frustrating!!

Katherine Williams, I Can Smell the Kind of Person You Are, and You Stink

It's official, my blog has done some good in this world. I don't know if you remember my previous posting about Sandra Jones and her near-Nigeria-bank-scamming of my friend "Tammy," but for some reason today, I was scrolling through my posts of last year and saw that particular posting had quite a few comments I didn't remeber from the original time of posting.
It turns out, I had received about five additional comments from people who had googled Sandra Jones after she had emailed them. My posting helped them to avert a potential bank scam.
According to one of the commentors, she is now going by the name of Katherine Williams, but using the same story.
So I feel that I have contributed to a better planet, as such, I cannot stop blogging. Just think of the good that these fingers typing, along with my quick wit (yeah right) can do.

Grandma

Two and a half weeks ago, my grandmother passed away. I flew home for the funeral, and upon arrival, I was informed by my mom and my sister that I was to speak there. I couldn't argue against it. Grandma had even said to me that I should speak at her funeral which, for the past ten years she had said was emminent. So here's what I wrote. It's more for the benefit of my family if they choose to read. Enjoy:

March 31, 2008

I never imagined that this day would actually be here. As illogical as it may sound, for some reason, I could never imagined that Grandma would actually die. I just pictured her waking up every day, watching "The Price is Right," reading the Tribune while eating breakfast, and from there, she would carry on with her Daily routine. Of course, there was the weekly dancing on Wednesday, the trips to Rino's on Thursday to get her hair done, and the monthly excursion to "club" (as she called it)--I never had any idea what kind of club it was or what they did there, but I knew that she looked forward to it with great anticipation the day before and the actual day of. So, because of my thinking that she would always be around, speaking at my grandmother's funeral seems completely bizarre to me.

That being said, this weekend, knowing that Grandma had passed, and knowing that I would have this opportunity to speak, has given me a chance to look back and reminisce with my sisters about the memories that we have of Grandma.

When I looked online for quotes about grandmas, I came across one that both Julie and I thought fit Grandma well. It says: "Grandmothers are just 'antique' little girls." I, for one, know this to be true. Every day, Grandma would make her bed and placed her white teddy bear on top of the pillows. She loved to dress up, to dance, to have her hair done nicely and to paint her nails. She loved being with her friends. She always cooked and kept an exceptionally clean house. She was a loving and attentive wife and mother, and she always made sure we were well-taken-care-of when we came to visit.

I always loved going to Grandma's house on Christmas Day. When we were young, we would always leave with her homemade chocolate chip cookies and little cookies, frosted with red and green icing--I don't know what they were, but I sure thought they were very tasty. As the time went by, the cookies got a little crispier, and a little browner each year until finally, she couldn't make them anymore. Though the treats are gone, the memory of her thoughtfulness and kindness still remains.

Grandma never forgot our birthdays, always making sure to send a card to make sure you got it two days beforehand.

I remember that she didn't seem to lose her temper--at least with me. I believe that it was when she went to Brigham City for my baptism where she was napping on the sofa when she was rudely awakened by a pudgy little eight-year-old who decided to run, full-speed, jump onto a chair, and dive onto the couch where, unbeknownst to him, his grandmother lay sleeping. It was mid-flight when I realized that Grandma was on my landing pad. I did my best to avoid the then-71 year-old figure who was likely scared half to death. She didn't yell or scream. She just told me to be more careful, and I scurried away, never mentioning a word of this story to anyone else, until now.

I had a unique opportunity to get to know Grandma as an adult, having had the chance to live with her and Linette for a couple of semesters while I was attending school at the University of Utah. Though living with an 80-something woman doesn't provide for the most swinging of social lives, it gave me the chance to get to know Grandma as a real person. Sometimes she drove me crazy, but many times, we had good conversations, where I learned a great deal about her. All of my friends who met her always thought she was the sweetest little old lady. Often times she would ask me "have you found yourself a little girlfriend?" to which, many times, I would respond with a sorrowful, "no." Unfortunately, now that there's a chance to respond to that question in the affirmative, Grandma's not around to ask it.

Last September, I flew back home for a long weekend to visit. While in town, I took the opportunity to go visit Grandma while she was staying at the Garden Terrace. It was nine months previous to that when I had last seen her at Christmas. I showed up, and she was in the dining room getting ready to eat with her friends there. I sat down with her. We did the "Hi, how are you doing?" thing and engaged in a little small talk. After a few minutes, she said, "You know, you remind me of my grandson, but he's in Washington DC." To which I replied, "Grandma, it's me. I'm here to visit you." She looked at me for a second and then got her "c'mon-Florence-how'd-you-get-that-one-wrong" look of surprise on her face, and then we hugged. We talked for about an hour, and then I had to go. But I was happy to see her one last time when she had most of her faculties about her. I saw her this past Christmas, but she was definitely not the same. However, I was still glad to see her one last time. It seemed that it was confirmed to me that this would be the last time that I would see her, which, sadly, last Thursday, turned out to be true.

I know that though she's gone, it's only for a little while. We'll miss her, but I know that now she's in a better place, surrounded by friends, family and loved ones, and that she's free from the pains, troubles, sickness and worries of this world. I know too, that it's all because of our Savior, Jesus Christ, that she will live again, and that through his Atonement we will be able to see her again.

Lastly, I wanted to share a couple of things I found while looking for things about grandmas online. The first comes from eight-year-olds in a school class having been asked, "what is a grandmother?"

"A grandmother is a lady who has no little children of her own, she likes other people's

"Grandmothers don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them

"When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

"Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes.

"They wear funny glasses and funny underwear.

"They can take their teeth and gums out.

"They know that we should have snack-time before bedtime, that they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even when we've acted bad." That was the case with our grandma.

Finally, there's a poem by Amy E. Mortimer titled Grandmother:

"A grandmother who's specialWho's caring and sincere. Who's always took good care of me And always brought good cheer. A grandmother who's loving Who's patient and kind. Who's always made me smile And always on my mind. A grandmother who's sweet Who's gentle and polite.Who's always made me laugh After a scary night. You'll always be the bestNo matter where you are.You'll always be in my heartAnd in God's hands.'I love you Grandmother"

Cherry Blossoms

One of the annual traditions around the nation's capital is the Cherry Blossom Festival and the end of March through the beginning of April. There are apparently thousands of trees in bloom, and it looks amazing. I didn't get a chance to go last spring, so when I went with Melanie on Saturday, it was pretty cool to see the first time.

Mel and Me

The Washington Monument

I was feeling a little artistic that day. How'd I do?

This one is my favorite I have ever taken of the Jefferson Monument

This is the two of us on the tree with all the knots, AKA the "Naughty Tree" taken by a kid whose mother is sure he'll make it big one day. I think he did a decent job.

Tulips are in bloom too. They had a pretty cool garden full of them.

I'm Thumpin', That's Why They Call Me Thumper.

So this is my question, it occured to me last night while on the phone with a friend: If Bambi in the Disney classic was a male fawn who grew to be a great buck deer (the prince of the forest), why is it that the name Bambi is a girl name in humans--not to mention a trashy girl name?

(side note, as evidence of the trashyness of the name, think of my embarrassment when I did an image search for Bambi without specifying "Disney's Bambi" on my work computer. Oops!!)

Luray Caverns

I wrote a couple of weeks ago that I had three adventures to post about. I meant to do that quickly, however an unforeseen trip to Utah for my grandmother's funeral interrupted those plans. So here is adventure No. 02 from two weeks ago. Melanie and I went to see the Luray Caverns in the Shenandoah mountains. They were pretty darned cool. Check out these pics.


We had a very nice, but slightly annoying tour guide. She had a grating voice, but she knew a lot about the caves and the various stalactites/stalagmites. However, her descriptions of some took quite a stretch of the imagination.

Totem Poles

They called this the "Shaggy Dog" (questionable at best)

Watch your head! These caves aren't very considerate to those who are more than six feet tall.

This reflecting pool is only 18 inches deep, but it looks like it's about six feet at places.

The lady who took this picture, bless her heart, didn't get how to use my camera, so she kinda took it when we weren't quite ready. I didn't ask her to take another, fearing it would take longer, but this is by the wishing well there. They've donated $700k to various charities from other people's wishes. (I totally was thinking of the Goonies the whole time I was in the cave)Bacon (I don't see it either, but that's what the tour guide said)

Sunny-side up eggs (yummy!)

Ice cream or a cupcake, whichever you choose (no wonder why I was so hungry when our tour was done.
Tasty, tasty geology

You can't really tell from the picture, but this looks like curtains.

After the caverns, we went to the car and carriage museum that they have next door, since it was included in the price of the admission to the caverns. They did have some cool antique autos, but I took far more pictures of the creepy looking mannequins. Here are some of them for your enjoyment: This guy kinda reminded me of a boss I once had. He looked a lot like this when he would come rolling in the parking lot in his Cadillac. Disturbing, but a sweet hat nonetheless

Hello Corn Children

How romantic, one of the weirdest displays, I thought.

Creepy, and there were many more, but I haven't the dedication to add them.

Did I mention this was in rural-ish Virginia? And why wouldn't you have a giant rooster in your yard if you live in the country? I was only surprised to not see a Confederate flag on display as well.

I hope you enjoyed my visit to Luray. I know I did.

I Have A Dream

Since he's one of my favorite Americans, and since it's the 40th anniversary of his death today, I wanted to post a video I found that promotes the History Channel's upcoming special about Martin Luther King. Enjoy.