Monday, December 8, 2008

Today's Things That Must Go

1). Commercials Targeted to the Elderly--If you're looking for an exhibit of the worst acting skills possible, listen to a little-old-lady singing the praises of her new Jazzy scooter, or watch the old man lauding the delivery of his Diabetes testing supplies to his front door. Granted, old people watch far more television than most, and should likely be targeted for advertising, but this type of commercial is an eerie reminder of what is to come to me. I don't ever want to get old, but seeing Wilford Brimley hawking some product only shows the depressing eventuality of my one day being a senior citizen.
2). The List of Potential Side-effects from Prescription Drugs Read on Commercials--I hate it when the list of what could happen ends up taking as much time as the explanation of what the drug does. No way would I want to take half of these things when I hear what could happen to me from using them. My favorite is the one that says "Seek emergency medical treatment if you experience an erection lasting four or more hours." Ouch!! I could only imagine that would be terribly uncomfortable. Hopefully I won't need to use Cialis or any of the others any time soon. Props to the commercial makers who have tried to get creative with reading the list (like having fake med-students listing them to their professor), but still it's irritating.
3). Irritating Christmas Music--I hadn't realized until this year just how much crappy Christmas music there is. And each of those crappy songs last at least one verse more than they should. I used to like the music of the holidays a lot, but I hadn't though of just how annoying most songs are for instance: "Feliz Navidad," Whatever the name of that song that the Chipmunks sing, the Beach Boys should never have ventured into Christmas tunes, "Malikalikimaka" goes entirely too long, "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer," though comical in theory (who wouldn't laugh at an old woman being trampled by a heard of reindeer?), is just to red-necky for me. "Santa Baby" is just kinda gross, as is "I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus," and I still hold that "The Little Drummer Boy" is the absolute worst Christmas song ever--EVER, followed closely by "Do You Hear What I hear." All of the above and many more should go, and thus, make my holiday music experience far more pleasurable.
4). Mitt Romney--Still a douche bag, still needs to go. Why? you may ask, I answer with why not? I was going to feel sorry for him and his wife Anne with her having had an operation for breast cancer this past week (best wishes for a speedy recovery--even though I think your husband is a disingenuous, lying, two-faced, scum bag who is willing to say, or do, or pay anything to try to get the presidency), but I can't. Yep, Willard is back to his old tricks again. as reported by the Boston Globe, he has raised over $2 million with his PAC, claiming that it was to help Republican candidates get elected. Guess how much his PAC gave to candidates...$240K. That's it. Where'd the rest go? To his own political consultants and campaign allies. Though there is really nothing illegal about this, the fact is, President-Elect Obama hasn't even been sworn into office yet. This just shows that Mittens only cares about his political career and doesn't really give a hoot in hell about America. While the vast majority of Americans are hoping that the next administration can succeed and help our country move out of this most-difficult chapter of our recent history, the spoiled, two-talking rich boy from Mass...wait, Michig...Utah (who the hell knows--I'm sure he'll claim wherever is politically expedient for him to be from) is praying for things not to be better so he can move in. C'mon you jerk, get over yourself and work for a better America, and give the next President the chance to get it right.

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