Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time

I think there is some strange romanticized version of Christmas in the nation's capital. During the past few days at the gym, the one TV that was set to TNT showed an advertisement every commercial break for "Christmas in Washington" that aired last night. The host was Dr. Phil and his wife, Robin. They had some local celebrities (I think--singers/performers), along with some B or C list celebrities (remember I said Dr. Phil Hosted?). I couldn't imagine that it would be all that great, but I thought it funny that there would be some sort of idea that Washington is the magical place at Christmas time. So, I watched with Melanie for all that I could handle, which was about two songs, but it was funny how they showed shots of the capitol in a computer-generated blizzard. So I thought it was corny and lame and bizarre all at once (and that was just the frozen look on Laura Bush's face).
Then I came into work this morning. I had left the radio on the all-Christmas station after riding with Melanie to the store last night. I decided to leave it there to be in a festive mood, as today is our work group party. After a long commercial that lasted most of the way to the office, I hear this slow 4/4 beat that had a bong-dong-DONG-dong sound. I'm like, "hmm, I've never heard this, what could it be?" Then the lyrics start: Something about snow in the Blueridge....then something going on in the Chesapeake Bay. I'm like "those are both near here." Then a mention of Georgetown and the Capital Dome. "What the?"
This was quickly becoming the lamest Christmas song ever. "It's Christmas Eve in Washington, America's hometown"...and it gets cheesier from there. So, I'm like, "does America really think that DC's a great place for Christmas?" It's not bad. It's a decent city. There are wreaths on buildings, there's the National and Capitol Christmas trees, and every office building has a nice tree inside, but that's about it. There is absolutely no snow at Christmas, and when there is snow in January, it becomes solid ice within a day. I was sitting there wondering why, if they wanted to give a realistic portrayal of Washington at Christmas, they weren't mentioning the mounds of homeless folks a block away from the White House in McPherson Square, or the crack whore in Southeast whose welfare is about to run out? Curiously left out was the drag queen in DuPont circle who was just dumped by his/her boyfriend for a younger, firmer catch, and is strung out on some drug from the neighbor, or the shot up corpse of a gang-banger who was found near U Street, not to mention that funky smell wafting off the Potomac. There was no talk of corrupt politicians or lobbyists, and not a word of drunken senior management getting sloshed and trying to feel up the interns at the corporate holiday parties. See, that's what Christmas in DC means to me.