Somebody's Got a Case of the Mondays--My List of Things That Must Go

Dear Readers,
I have been wanting to add a weekly feature to the blog for a while. I have seen others' blogs who have a "Wordless Wednesday," which I like, but I don't think I should do because I have seen it a couple of times, and fear that my adding it would make it cliche (sorry I don't know how to make accent marks here). Now don't you be thinking that this idea of having a pet peeves list titled "Things That Must Go" is a Darin original. No, I will give credit where credit is due. I am ripping the idea off from "The Radio From Hell Show" (Kerry, Bill and Gina, X96, KXRK, Provo, Ogden, Salt Lake City). Their segment on the show happens every Wednesday, having the hosts' lists one week and a list from listeners the next week.
I decided to make it on Monday since that seems to be everyone's least favorite day of the workweek. Oh, and bare in mind that these will not exclusively be mine, but rather, I hope to have a conglomoration of various sources, including the aforementioned radio show whose podcast I listen to faithfully, friends and coworkers. I would invite anyone who wishes to add their things that must go to make a comment and I will try to incorporate them. So without any further ado, I give you my debut list of things that must go:

1) Mondays--As I previously mentioned, this is the least favorite day of the work week to many people. It means the weekend of fun and revelry are over, and we must return to our respecitve places of employment for 40+ more hours of hell. Let's face it, even if you love your job, everyone must admit that their secret wish is to be independently weathly, not having to dread the alarm at 6:00 a.m. on Monday morning. However, I do have to say, that if Monday wasn't the first day of the work week, we would all hate Tuesday. This brings me to number two...
2) Tuesdays--Tuesday, in my humble opinion, is the most worthless day of the week. It turns out that Monday usually ends up being a productive day, and it goes by rather quickly. Before you know it, it's already Tuesday. Three days of the week have something significant, Monday is the beginning of the week, Wednesday is hump day, and Friday is, well Friday. This leaves Tuesday and Thursday without any significance in the week--filler days really. Thurday is superior to Tuesday in that it is only a day away from Friday. Ergo, Tuesdays must go!
3) Toupees--Sorry men, you're not fooling anyone, except yourselves. If you don't have the self-respect to let nature take its course, you should get counseling. Speaking as one who is thinning up top, Deal With It!! Even a comb-over, as rediculous as comb-overs are, looks better than a man with a white, pencil-thin moustache wearing a (theoretically) perfectly-coiffed, oily-looking rug on his head. I saw that today on the Metro ride to work. I had to take a picture and I will post it later today, so check back.
4) People who say supposably--It's SUPPOSEDLY!! Oh, and it's ambulance, not amblience!
5) Oprah Winfrey--I hate her!! I work in the building that houses the local ABC affiliate for the Washington DC area. So when I was walking in, they were showing Good Morning America on the giant screen outside, and guess who was on--none other than Ms. Winfrey. It pissed me off instantly, just her air and arrogance that showed through. I think the reason why I don't like her is the same reason I heard a comedian once say she likes her: "She thinks she's Jesus." The woman seriously has delusions of grandeur (not to say that she doesn't do a lot of good things). I rememeber hearing her say very matter-of-factly "I always knew I was destined for greatness." I can't hardly stand her anymore. One last note is that I loved a line that I heard on an 80's sit-com when one character thought she saw a UFO, she said, "Airplanes aren't that thin, or that bright." To which another character responded, "neither is Oprah Winfrey, but it doesn't make her a UFO."
So, there they are, today's things that must go.