Meet Virginia, I Can't Wait to Meet Virginia

As this weekend marks the two-year anniversary of my exodus from Utah, I was just on the phone with Kade and mentioned this to him (the two of us left from Utah together to come east, him to Raleigh, NC and me to DC). He promptly pulled up his email, and found what he sent to friends and family on our second night of the trip. Please read and enjoy. It's lengthy, but worth it for a good laugh. Our third day was fun as well, and I may have to find something about that, but enjoy this for now.

Hello Friends!

Greetings from the other side of the country! It has been quite the adventure and we're only on our second day. Right now, we're in Zanesville, Ohio, which is 78 miles out of Columbus (Columbus is quite the beautiful city at night). We were hoping to make it into West Virginia tonight, but we're bushed. It's 12:45 a.m. and we've been driving since 9:00 a.m. We didn't get to bed until 4:30 a.m. That was twice as much sleep as we received the night before.

I was pretty much packed by Thursday night, but I still had a few things to throw in and then my room to pick up. I also wanted to go spend time with my family and then had to pick up Darin in Brigham. We got back to my house at 1:30 a.m., got the car packed, and then we were up until almost 4:00 a.m. getting stuff finished. We then woke up at 6:30 and got on the road. It was rough. Anyway, we survived the drive through Wyoming (the UGLIEST of states) including seeing some giant statue of Mary or Jesus (we couldn't tell which it was) and then we got to see a trailer house with teepees built into it. Like, permanent, concrete teepees built into the middle of a trailer house. It was insane. Don't worry, I took pictures. Anyway, we then headed into Nebraska and that is where the fun began.

A few miles into Nebraska, Darin was driving and noticed this HUGE field full of cattle. He was like, 'Wow! That's a ton of cattle.' I meanwhile was studying the atlas (Did you know Ohio is the 7th most populated state in the US?) and looked up and said, 'That is a lot of cattle.' Those were almost the last words I spoke. The cows were not just any cows. They were primed and ready for the slaughter, which meant they were fed a warm grain and it stunk to high heaven. We coughed, we gagged, we gulped down the vomit, and we tried to hold our breath. Because we were crying and laughing so hard, that proved impossible. So, we shoved our noses in our armpits to smell the deodorant over that hideous stench. I was brave a couple of times and tried to see if the smell was gone. It wasn't. It honestly was the worst smell on earth and lasted for MILES!! I would rather smell ten dead skunks at once than smell that again. That was our introduction into Nebraska. It was almost a death by toxic fuming. The reason I know about the warm grain, etc., is because I was texting my dad at the time, who drives through that area constantly. I told him I was taking my last breath and that it was due to these horrible cows. He wrote back, 'Oh, those ones on the right hand side? Yeah, that's pretty bad. There's a rest area a few miles ahead. Pull over, walk around, and get a cold drink. It will help with the sickness.' I don't think anyone will ever understand how bad it was unless they were to smell it themselves.

OK, so beyond the cows, we kept seeing urine filled bottles by the road, mile after mile. I couldn't figure out what I was looking at, until Darin explained that a lot of truck drivers do that to save time and then throw them out. That made me sick to my stomach too. But, a few miles later, we were both sick as we looked over to see a lady vomiting by the side of the road. OK, OK, I'll stop with the nasty details of the trip.

So, last night, we were planning on making it to Des Moines, Iowa. We were so exhausted though and tried to stay in Omaha, Nebraska instead. It turns out there was some college world series going on and the entire town's motels were booked, including all of the towns for the next two hours. We were exhausted, couldn't find a place to sleep, and we were starving. We finally found a place somewhere by Elk Horn, Iowa. I almost ran over a family of raccoons, but due to my sharp sight at 2:00 a.m., I avoided the tragedy. The funny thing is that Darin and I were playing the either/or game earlier in the day and one of his questions was, 'Would you rather run over and kill an entire family of kittens or watch Duchess get eaten by a boa constrictor?' Of course, I'd much rather run over the cats. Anyway, a few hours later, there we were, with me almost running over a mama raccoon and her four babies. Disaster was avoided, so I hope Duchess doesn't meet up with any boa constrictors.

OK, so we couldn't get food b/c everything was closed, so we backtracked several miles to an open gas station to grab some junk to get by on, including refrigerated deli sandwiches. It was awful. But, for those of you who have seen me when I'm tired and hungry, you know it was best that I get something, anything really, to eat. It was essential. So, we were up early this morning and have driven about 1800 miles, maybe a bit more, between today and yesterday. We've driven through Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, and most of Ohio. We're going to hit it tomorrow and try to get to Washington, DC by 1:00 p.m. I am aiming to get to South Boston, Virginia by 5 p.m. I'll head into Raleigh on Monday morning. I have an apartment now and a roommate, so that'll be fun. I'll meet him on Monday or Tuesday. I'll still be house sitting for the week, but will be able to drop all of my stuff off at the apartment so I'm not unpacking twice. I limited my packing to 120 shirts, 40 pairs of pants, 25 pairs of shoes, and then a lot of crap that I just had to have. Darin didn't do much better, so poor Luh-fawn-duh the Honda is loaded to no other. Bless her soul for surviving so far. We bought a cargo bag for the top of the car for luggage and it's stuffed too. The straps go through the car and hook inside, so now the door seals are separated making it soooooo noisy in the car. We solve this by stuffing kleenex and toilet paper in the door frame by the straps. We are both about the same height and the straps hang down a few inches from the roof of the car, so we are slouching down in the chairs to avoid having a strap pushing down on our heads the whole time.

OK, OK, I'll let ya'll go. I need to get to bed and this e-mail is long enough to keep you busy for a while. I hope you are all doing well. I'll catch ya' later. Have a blessed day!

Love,

Kade