Today's Trip to the Sky Mall

Why hello there. On my recent trip to Florida, I had the pleasure of flipping through the Sky Mall magazine and was thoroughly impressed by the virtual treasure trove of gadgets that was found within its pages. (By thoroughly impressed, I mean disturbed at times, nearly mortified and laughing to near hysterics. And by treasure trove of gadgets, I mean crap-load of garbage). Seeing the great opportunity to share these over-priced pieces of junk with others, I decided to take the magazine with me (and why wouldn't I? It says "Free Copy--Take It, We'll Replace It") and make it into a semi-regular feature on my web log.

So, without any further ado, I present the first item on our trip to the Sky Mall:

The Portable Inflatable Whirlpool Spa.

There have been many occasions when I have thought "boy I whish I had a Whirlpool Spa right now." Now, for a mere $900, I can take one with me where e'er my young-boy heart desires, up to, and including, my office. It says it'll fit four people. Wouldn't that be a lark? I won't even have to inflate it myself. The motor pumps it up and then filters the water. The only problem may be finding a way to get 250 gallons of water to it. I would imagine that would take quite a few trips to the galley (I don't know why they don't call them kitchens here) down the hall, but I am sure it would be worth it.

So, what do you say? Why don't you make this yours today?

Today's List of Things That Must Go

1). People who fail to observe propper elevator etiquitte--I have to get off on the 30th floor of my building, so inevitably, I have to ride the elevator with other people nearly every day. Today's friend got on with two others (myself included), talking loudly on his cell-phone. I moved to the corner, so as not to be in his way, thus allowing him to be in the center. Since he was talking on his phone, he didn't notice that he totaly invaded my bubble, completely crowding me into the corner. When we got to his floor, he walked off, completly oblivious to the discomfort he caused.
2). Men who wear loafers without socks--It's just gross
3).The Iraq War--I feel bad about mentioning something this important with the other two, but since we passed the five year mark (Yes, FIVE YEARS!!), and officially hit the 4,000 mark US troop fatalities this past week. It needs to be mentioned. We've spent hundreds of billions of dollars on this disaster. It's time to come home. I respect and honor those brave men and women who are willing to pay the ultimate price for this country, and am aware that they have performed their tasks amazingly well. That being said, the answer to the problems there aren't going to come militarily. The sooner the ones in charge realize this, the sooner we can end the waste that is this war.

The picture below shows the faces of those who have fallen in this war forming a collage of the fool who sent them there and the other one who wants to keep us there for 100 more years. Click on it to expand it. If that doesn't work, click here.

Grande Adventura a Florida, Ole!

Florida State Road A1A

I had one of my most adventurous weeks in recent history. It is actually going to be the inspiration for three posts, it's that adventurous.
First off (not chronologically, but by adventurous-ness), I went to Florida this week for the first time. A group of friends and I took a short trip over spring break to the lovely little town of Vero Beach (about 1 hour north of Palm Beach).



This is our travel group, Amy, Melanie, Kasey, and Adam. Our plane left DCA about 1/2 hour late. We only had 35 minutes between flights in Atlanta. So when we landed, we were super-happy to hear that our plane hadn't left yet, but we found out it was in another terminal. We ran through terminal C and barely made our connection. As evidenced by the photo, we were pooped.

We landed, and got a great deal on our rental car, a Ford Taurus. We were hungry and went to IHOP, where we had Luis, the waiter-in-training. I was tired and hungry and was hoping to get shortcake pancakes. Luis couldn't quite understand what I wanted (which was prominently placed on the placemat). I didn't think I was angry, or whiny, but judging by the fact that "but I want these pancakes" was a running joke throughout the trip, I guess I was less than kind to our friend, Luis. I hope we didn't make him up and quit that night.

We safely made it to the 55 and older community where our condo was located. It was a beautiful area, but it was obvious that it was an elderly community judging by the decor that looked like that from an eighties hotel room, but with extra wicker.
Day one, we went to the beach, we had a great time, played frisbee, and had a mud fight. Later we went to the pool at the condo, got in the hot tub, and met a friendly old man named Richard. We chilled at home that night. The next day, we went to the beach again. We had a great lunch at the Red Onion Grill, and then went home to the pool where it was less windy. We played Marco Polo, which actually ended up being quite fun. That evening we drove around for a long time, looking for something to do. The bowling alley closed, but we found a pool hall.

Mel and Adam playing pool

Poor Amy, has tendonitis, and couldn't play with her braces.

We went home and played hearts. If you look closely at the score, you will see that I completely dominated in this round (look and you'll see that I shot the moon twice).

Day three started out with breakfast and whatnot. Then four of us (Kasey had left to go on a run) decided to go on the "nature walk" beneath the cloudy skies. There was a very light sprinkling when we set off.

Adam decided to give a massage to a turtle statue.

There was all sorts of flora and fauna on this nature walk, but the most creepy part of it was where the gigantor spiders dwell. There were about 20 of these giant arachnids that we saw sitting, waiting on their webs. Creepy.

The light sprinkling quickly turned into a downpour. We hurried back towards the house, but ended up completely soakedI don't know what Adam's face is doing. Mel looks a little uncomfortable too.

We cleaned up, and left, hoping to go to the Lion Country Safari, however, due to our needing to dry shoes after the nature walk, we left later than we had hoped, and missed the closing time by minutes. So we decided to go to the beach at Palm Beach since we were there.
Dog owners think they are above the law.
The only time Adam looked like he was having a decent time on the trip (okay, not true, but the only photographic proof).


The beach at Palm Beach was beautiful. Clear water. And what could be better than seeing it with a sweet little red-headed girl.
In my humble opinion, Florida is great. I would love to retire there. I am not sure what it would be like in the heat of summer, but in spring it's amazing.

New Addition

Hello. I just wanted to mention the new link on my "Others' Opinions" bar, "Stuff White People Like." I am sure that some of you have seen this, but a good friend of mine forwarded this link to me this week, and it just made me chuckle. Deep down it explains everything that I want to be, an uppity, liberal white person. Granted, I don't think you could apply this to much of the South or the Mid-West, but who cares about them anyway? (I am sure that a disdain for southern culture will make this list one day) So, check it out and have a laugh at yourselves.

Concerned

Right now, there are only three days until my Grande Adventura a Florida--Ole (two snaps)!! And, coincidentally, I noticed the faint tickle of an emerging cold in the back of my throat. When I woke up this morning, it was even more distinct. However, I am not completely convinced that it is a cold, as we are now entering spring here in the Nation's Capital, and last year was a horrific time for my allergies. For the sake of having a good time on my brief excursion to the Sunshine State, I am hoping it is that latter.
That being said, I have to admit that I can't stand my allergies (but who really loves allergies). They weren't horrible in Utah, but I had a few weeks each spring and fall that gave me troubles. When I first moved to the east coast, I enjoyed nearly a year with no allergy problems at all. Last spring that all changed. It turns out, I go crazy when the trees in the area do their pollination thing. As a side note, to make the dealing with allergies even worse, I have a friend who refers to pollen as tree sperm--yuck!! So that's just an extra nasty thought that goes along with all of the other un-pleasantries of the allergies. Anyway, as I mentioned, last year was terrible. With all of the sneezing, the itchy, watery eyes, and whatnot that accompany the allergy season, I developed a cold that became bronchitis due to all of the excess mucous. I was less than pleased.
However, all that being said, I still hope that whatever I am developing now is not actually a cold, and will leave me be to enjoy the sunny days at Vero Beach.

Funny, but Only Because It Hasn't Affected Me Yet

So I have got two roommates. One is generally uber-responsible about paying bills and whatnot. In fact, his tendency to "remind" me and to check the status of bills that I have been tasked to send off, has warranted the nickname of "Pops" from me. He generally has to remind the other roomie that he needs to write a check for rent and utilities and such. That being said, we don't usually have a problem. That is until last month's water bill came. It arrived, was opened and put on the refrigerator, but nothing since then. They had a "late date" on the bill of Feb 28, and it had been mentioned in the house that we needed to pay the bill, but no action...That is until Sunday, when I at least wrote out a check for my portion, and put it on the fridge with the bill--no longer my problem, or so I thought.
Anyway, about 15 minutes ago, I got a text from "Pops" saying that he went to take a shower, and there was no water. I just said, "don't blame me, my check is on the fridge." I laughed because I had a nice warm shower at 7:45 (my alarm didn't go off propperly so I was a few minutes late--don't ever buy a Motorola KRZR). So, I am guessing the water has been cut, but I am hoping it gets rectified quickly, cause I don't want to have to deal with that--I wrote my check Damn it!!

Oh, the Irony

I Was Certainly Surprised by the Size of Uranus

Okay, I am tacky as hell, but is that a surprise to anyone?
I got this email from a friend and thought it was pretty cool, plus I am super-stoked that I found a way to get around the settings on my computer. Let's hope it looks normal when it posts.

THIS is really fascinating - it's rather dazzling to see it presented this way.

I CERTAINLY THOUGHT THIS WAS ENLIGHTENING. BEYOND OUR SUN . IT'S A BIG UNIVERSE.

(note the name of the big one on the left, don't say it three times)

ANTARES IS THE 15TH BRIGHTEST STAR IN THE SKY . IT IS MORE THAN 1000 LIGHT YEARS AWAY. NOW HOW BIG ARE YOU?

Today's List of Things That Must Go

1). People who smell like soup--It's strange, yes, but I think it should go. I saw the movie Juno (it's a charming movie, really) over the weekend, and they talk about a girl who smelled like soup. It reminded me of a girl I sat next to at church once, and it made me really uncomfortable. Then, when I sat down on the Metro to come to work today, either the man to my side, or the guy in front of me had the distinct smell of Ramen Noodles. Odd, you think they would figure it out somehow. Maybe next time, I should let them know. I would appreciate it if someone told me I smelled like soup.
2). The poorly-blended line in my head from my new haircut--It looked great when I had it done on Saturday, or so I thought. But I was looking in the mirror here in the restroom at work, and noticed that looking from the side, there is a distinct line where it wasn't blended properly. This has never happened before, and I don't feel too bad, because I had an otherwise delightful trip to the Hair Cuttery, but I'm just gonna say that this never happened with my sisters, or my friend Sara, when they cut my hair (props to all three of you). I'm sure it will grow out shortly but, it will bug me until then.
3). The sign in our break room, reminding me that my mother doesn't work here, and that I need to clean up after myself--well duh, even if she worked here, Diane wouldn't clean up after me. I've had the mis-fortune of working with my mother, and it ends up being the opposite, with my having to clean up something after her--not food messes in a break room, but all sorts of other things. But on another note, that stupid sign, which has been in about every breakroom that I have been in, is just lame, and needs to go. It may have been clever about 15 years ago, but not any more. (FYI, this was mentioned on the Radio From Hell's list of things that must go, but I had planned to mention it before I had heard it on their show.)
4). Hillary Clinton-- I used to like her (to a point), but I don't any more. She's mis-managed her campaign to a point that makes me doubt what I had previously thought about her, that she would be extremely well-prepared on any issue. I don't believe that any more. Their arrogance made them only plan through Super-Tuesday, and they have had nothing since. She just sounds whiny, desperate, shrill and naggy now. If I wanted to hear a naggy woman every day, I would call my mother more often (mom, I love you, but you are a nag). So, Senator Clinton, you should go. Go back to the Senate and continue being a fantastic Senator for the state of New York, but quit trying to be my president.
5). Utah State Senator, Chris Buttars--If you're not involved in Utah state politics, you probably have never heard of this man, but he's just a jerk. You can read up on him here. However, this link doesn't include his latest flap, which resulted in his being stripped of his chairmanship of the Senate Judiciary Committee, for trying to intimidate a judge who ruled against a developer friend of his. Anyway the man is a complete jerk, and must go.