Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Does This Make Me A Bad Person?

So, I was coming to work today. I was hurrying in much earlier than normal. I lost my phone last night, and thinking I had left it in the office, wanted to get here before the alarm to wake me up went off (see earlier). Turns out, I dropped it in the lockerroom at the gym, and someone turned it in. Thankfully it is there safely awaiting my pickup.
Anyway, en route to the office, I was cruising down the street to get here. I see a car ahead of me at a stop sign with its hood up. I'm like, "Dang, that sucks. I wonder if I should see if I can help?" I determined that I probably should hurry to the office to turn off my alarm, and also I would likely be of no assistance. But still felt like maybe I should try. As I am getting closer to the car, I see a bumper sticker, and I'm trying to figure out what it says...closer and closer, then I read "Sarah!" Referring to the former VP candidate, the Winking Wonderwoman from Wasilla. 'Nuf said, I wasn't stopping on this cold morning.
Okay, it's not just that she was a Palin supporter, but a whole group of things, my needing to hurry to the office, the fact that I had no tools nor a cell phone to help out, and it was friggin' cold. So I hurried to the office. No phone, so I decided to call the gym since that's the next likely place that it would be. Sure enough, it was there. Yay!!
If, when I go home for lunch, the lady is still broken down in the intersection, I promise I'll help her out.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Because I Am An Obnoxious Supporter of The University of Utah

attributed to coloute on Utefans.net.

OK, after hours and hours of study, Here's what I know about BYU.................

Now, I don't claim to be an expert on this or anything, but based upon my Film Study of BYU's defense, let me relate to you what can be easily discerned, and hopefully exploited.BYU (AKA, "The BYU", "The Brig", "Breed-em Young","The Zoo","Joe's Joy-Joy Factory","The World's Only Non-Drug Induced 4-Year Euphoria", and "The Mating Ritual So Bizarre that Even National Geographic Won't Cover It.")
BYU is an All-Girls school specializing in the socialization of recovering nymphomaniacs who aren't hot enough to make it as East Coast nannys, cheerleaders with both eating and attention deficit disorders (you know, the ones who turn "binge and purge" into "binge and .... 'Ooooohh, American Idol's on'"), and sensitive spirits who just can't contain the flow of tears brought on by the love sub-plot in "Teen Wolf Too."
It was founded in 1970 by a former top Lieutenant from the East German Stasi, who discovered that if you insert a pixie stick into a twinkie, shove it into your nasal sinuses and inhale, you can turn a patch of barren dessert into a magical realm where faeries and happy green elves play. He acquired a Chalk Board, a leather bound copy of the Work and the Glory, and nailed a sign to an iron gate stating, "Übereinstimmung ist, Was Sie Verschieden Macht" (Absolute Conformity is What Makes You Different) and the glorious academy was born.
Today, more than 27,000 souls are blessed each day by the three-fold mission of the LDS Church's Flagship Institution:
1) Provide a partially research-based education in an environment free of the five greatest wickednesses of society: facial hair, visible knee-caps, foot-worn paths in the grass, NCAA Tournament victories, and research.
2) Develop innovative methods for: A - Consuming dairy based snack foods, B - Masking male-pattern-baldness C - Side-stepping the prevalent "hook-up" culture at other universities by having just as many orgasms without technically "having sex."
3) Fat Chicks Need Lovin' Too.
So I hope that this will provide the team and coaches with a little bit of technical insight into this little piece of Orwellian heaven on earth.

Oh, and GO UTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. don't let my fiancee read this, it's a touchy subject in our relationship. I think though, now she realizes that my hatred for BYU is irrational, and there's nothing personal about it.

Oh, and a joke..."Being a BYU fan is like competing in the Special Olympics...even if you win, you're still retarded" (hold off on the angry comments on that one, I know it's insensitive. Just laugh. I don't harbor ill feelings to people with special needs)

Monday, November 17, 2008

Today's List of Things that Must Go

1). My Econ Class. I hate it. It doesn't help that my professor is woefully lacking in skills to present the subject matter to the class. It is so boring, that it makes it difficult to pay attention, but I think that there is potential for it to be a good class. But a word to the wise, if you're ever going to take PUBP 720 (Mangerial Econ) from George Mason University's School of Public Policy, do all you can to not take it from Perry.
2). People who won't even give Obama a Chance--C'mon people, don't you want him to succeed? If our president does well, it generally would mean that our country does well. I saw various ignorant facebook friends who put status lines like "it's going to be a long four years." Screw you guys!!! It's been a horrifically long eight year administration in which Dubya has run amock, disregarding the Constitution, waging wars, racking up huge debts, and destroying our standing in the world. It's time for an about face, and a chance to clean up after the Bush administration.
3). Wedding planning--Not that I don't like them, or am not looking forward to my own upcoming nuptials, but the whole show that goes along with it is kind of funny. Why do we do it? I don't know. It's fun and all, but the months of planning and stress for one event is just amazing, and the fact that you see some of these things that run into six figures is ridiculous. But don't take this to mean that I am not totally excited to get married in a few months.
4). Meat slime--you know what I mean, the slimey juice on meat that's been around for a while. It's sick and it stinks, and it must go.
5). My Gut--I've called him Chuck, and he's been a part of me for much of my life, but he really must go. I was doing okay at losing weight last year, but I found that I liked mint Oreo cookies more than the idea of being thin. And since I've moved from an apartment that had an available gym, my exercising regimen has decreased. Thankfully my roommate and I got a deal on gym memberships near where we both work, so now we plan to go regularly. My goal is to go at least five times per week. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

It's Been a Week...

And we're still not socialists. But I'll keep you posted as to when we are :-)

Last week, as election results came in, we had a mini-party at my house with friends to watch the historic results. As I promised, I was on my best behavior. As would be expected, I got happy with each Democratic state won, and with each Senate seat that was taken over, but nothing over the top.

I have pics still on my camera. I'll try to post them tonight.

It was kind of weird. Due to the mixed nature of the crowd (a 50-50 split of Obama and McCain supporters) the reaction to the win was less positive than I would have liked. Regardless of the fact that McCain didn't win, I would think that those who voted for him would still have been happy to see just how historic that moment in history was. But no, the sat with glum faces, and some of them went into my roommate's room and started goofing around.
I must say that I John McCain was very magnanimous in his concession, and though it doesn't make up for the very negative campaign he ran, he did show class that he had abandoned in his attempt to win the presidency (truth be told, I bet the real John McCain never wanted to have the campaign he ran--I think he's more decent than what they became).
When the Obamas came out, having been announced as the next first family, I'll admit a tear or two did come to my eye. I was so proud of my country at that moment. The thought that a man who was born in a time that people of his color were still fighting for the right to vote here seemed absolutely amazing to me. It showed that we were truly able to judge someone, "not by the color of [his] skin, but by the content of [his] character." He didn't campaign on his race, but on hope and unity--something that we as an American people were obviously hungry for after eight long years without it.
My hope though, is that people realize that change won't come quickly. Cleaning up after what could arguably be the worst president ever will take some time. I have hope that President-Elect Obama will run the country as effectively as he ran his campaign. Of course he'll make mistakes, but I am confident he and his advisors will look at the big picture and do the best they can.
Congratulations to the Obamas and to America.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Maybe A Little Obsessed

But I thought this was cool. It wasn't a simple copy/paste either. I had to go line by line. This gives a new meaning to an emoticon. But here's hopin' he's our next president.
? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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++++++#+++++++++++++++##++@##++++++++
+++++##++++++++++++############+++++++?
+++++##++++++++#+++##+####+####+++++++
+++++##++++#####+++#++#####+####++++++?
+++++##+++##+###+++#+++****++####+++++?
+++++##+++++#++#+++#+++++++++##++++++
+++++##++++@++++++++#+++++++##+#+++++
+++++#+++++++++++++++#++++++##+#+++++
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+++++##+#+++++++++++++++++++##+#+++++
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++++++#++#++++++##+++###++++##+++++++
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+++++++++++#+++++++++++++############+
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+###############++++++++++###########+
+############### ++++ +++++###########+
+###############++++++#++############+
+################+++++#++############+

My Less Than Harrowing Voting Experience

So, I got to work about an hour ago after having voted. It's kind of a no stress situation because my boss is working from home today. I had also cleared my potential tardiness by explaining that I was going to vote in the morning, and would be in whenever, based on the length of the lines.
I woke up, got ready and turned on the TV. Watching CNN, they showed lines of people in Chicago, Manhattan and even Richmond, VA. So I thought, "sweet, this will be good," and readied myself for a long line at George Marshall High School. When I was pulling up, the lot was packed, there was even a news van out front. I was stoked, and was ready to wait with the good Americans of both parties, basking in the historic nature of this election, and what it's implications could mean to the country and the world--to think that this is possibly the embodiment of Dr. King's "I Have a Dream" speech. So I walked down the hallway, turned a corner, and saw a line snaking down and back, which was encouraging to me. As is human nature, I stood in the line with the others, assuming it was where we all were supposed to be. Then a kind fellow came and said "this line is for h-m and s-z, the others are inside." Someone questioned about a-g, but no mention of n-r, which is where I would fit, last name-wise. So after a very slight confusion, I walked into the main room, which had two rally long lines, one short one for the a-g's and then there was n-r with nothing. I thought it was weird, but I walked to the front (kinda feeling like I was cheating because everyone else had to wait). One other guy was in my same position, and we were dumbfounded that we were the only two from our letters of the alphabet. So I walked up to the kindly blond lady who was very eager to help. She checked my off her roll and gave me a permit to vote, telling me to go to the girl in the green who would point me where to go. Said girl in green gave me a choice of a paper or electronic ballot, I chose electronic, fearing that a paper ballot could get lost or not scanned properly. Also, it appeared to be a longer line, and as such would take slightly longer.
So I did it, voted for president, senator and congressman, and on a bond issue, got my sticker and left.
That was it. Then I had one of the smoothest drives to work I have experienced. All-in-all, not a bad experience, but I would say that it's a little anti-climactic. Waiting for two years, writing all sorts of irrational rants on my blog, being part of history, and it took only seven minutes. I kinda feel gypped. So that was my experience--see how easy. If I hear of anyone not voting, I will be an angrier white man than John McCain.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Vote for the Scary White Man or You Don't Get Candy

You may not know this, but I don't care much for Republicans. This clip is the epitome of why I hate the "Grand" OLD Party. Simply put, they're awful people, who need to get a grip. Yes, this is a blanket statement, but I do feel that if someone is voting for that nasty old McCain, and that horrendous pick of a VP he made, they really need to evaluate things and realize exactly what they're doing. They have run a dishonorable campaign with a following of despicable supporters like the nasty old women in this video. This is America dang it, and though I may think you're an absolute buffoon for supporting the crotchety old man and Nanookie from the north (who is showing us daily that she hasn't got a clue about much of anything pertaining to the US government of the Constitution in general), I am not going to deny you or your kids candy on Halloween.
Watch it, and then offer a prayer of thanksgiving that you are not as bitter as this old hag.